“Healing Power of Good Sex” The Lecture
Sex involves more than procreation—or recreation. As countless studies have shown, an intimate, sexually satisfying relationship reduces the risk of heart disease…depression…migraine…premenstrual syndrome…and arthritis. It also boosts the immune system.
But sex is genuinely healing only if it transcend the mechanical, self-pleasure variety promoted by sex experts. Indeed, the central goal of sexual healing should not be orgasm—but connection with your partner.
PHYSIOLOGY OF HEALING SEX:
Healing sex brings a marked decline in bloodstream levels of adrenaline and cortisol. These stress hormones provoke anxiety and reduce immune function. In a study, women who were happily married had higher levels of natural killer cells and helper T cells than those in unhappy unions. Healing sex is also a potent antidote for social isolation, which has been linked to serious illness and premature death. A Yale study of 194 heart patients found that those without a spouse at home were twice as likely to die prematurely as those with a spouse.
HEALING SEX IS RARE:
Most couples never experience sexual healing—because they’re too quick to give up on their relationship. It takes at least four years to achieve the intimacy needed for sexual healing. Most couples split after only three years. Why do so many couples split? Because of lack of intimacy. Intimacy doesn’t just happen. You make it happen by treating your partner with care and genuine affection…and by taking the time to really connect, both in casual conversation and via sex. Three factors are central to a sexually relationship…
COMMITMENT. Affairs and on-again-off-again sexual relationships are not healing because the two people never form a meaningful bond.
CONSIDERATION. The bond between a couple must extend beyond the bedroom. Each partner must continually express tenderness and caring toward the other—by smiling…touching…being polite…giving compliments…and showing respect.
HONESTY. There must be no secrets within the relationship—only total connection and total confidence.
HOW TO FORGE A SEXUALLY HEALING RELATIONSHIP: SPEND TIME TOGETHER. For at least five minutes a day, sit or lie together—just the two of you. Cuddle. Talk. Let your bodies synchronize.
LISTEN MORE, TALK LESS. Ironically, good relationships involve little talk. Partners communicate via their own private language—subtle body movements, gestures, expressions and a sense of connection that arises only between lovers who grow ever closer as a result of sharing crises.
DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR PARTNER. If you spend your days apart, call periodically during the day and something like, “Honey, I’ve been thinking about you. I can’t wait to see you.” If necessary, set an alarm clock to go off periodically to remind you to place the call. You come to feel love by behaving lovingly, so even the simplest acts of connection can translate to intense sexual feelings.
HAVE SEX ONLY WHEN IT FEELS “RIGHT.” Trust your senses. If you rely on your “sex sense” for a month, you’ll soon see that when you do have sex, it is more fulfilling and sensual.
SEDUCE YOUR PARTNER. Instead of dressing up in a sexy costume—as sex therapists often recommend—use “brain power.” Send your partner mental “messages” all day long. At night, lie still in bed and send him/her more “sex waves”. You’ll be surprised at how seductive your own brain can be.
FANTASIZE ABOUT YOUR PARTNER. Put on some sensual music and lie in bed with eyes closed. Use your brain—not a vibrator or your hand—and envision yourself making love to your partner. You may become aroused—even experience orgasm—but mental sex can be surprisingly fulfilling even if you don’t.
50-MINUTE SEXUAL FITNESS PLAN:
My sexual fitness plan—which you can add to your weekly exercise regimen—contains three components…
1. SHARED LAUGHTER. Twenty seconds of laughter produces the same cardiovascular benefits as three minutes of aerobic exercise, studies indicate. Studies also indicate that a good laugh strengthens the immune system by lowering cortisol levels and raising endorphin levels. And—couples who laugh together become closer and more in tune with one another.
2. SHARED CRYING. Watching a good tear-jerker enhances intimacy—and sometimes leads to sexual arousal. Tears, which contain stress hormones and other chemicals, may be nature’s way of washing toxins out of the body.
3. COUPLE “EROTOROBICS.” The following suggested sexual exercises may seem strange, but they increase your ability to respond to intimate physical contact.
SIMULATED SEX. Go through the motions of intercourse—with your clothes on.
GENITAL MASSAGE. This stimulates blood flow in that area.
DANCING TO EROTIC MUSIC. Use the muscles you would if you were having intercourse.FLIRTING. Arch your back, sway your hips and stick out your chest. And practice sexual gazing and sexual smiling. Both can make you feel more sensuous.
***That concludes my Lecture on “Healing Power of Good Sex”***
Ok, the panel is Now Open if you wish to ask any Questions or need anything that I said further broken down. Again, you’re welcome to rebuttal or ask anything below in the comment box and I will gladly answer. Thanks!
“Healing Power of Good Sex” The Lecture was written and composed by Yow’ab Ben Yahweh